Sometimes I thought the reason I like Lost in Translation or Eternal Sunshine is because I love couples with so many differences.
With a lot of different aspects that make them impossible to make a connection, somehow they succeeded. Somehow they are connected. Somehow they have made it. Somehow, pushed by certain circumstances, bitter reality to admit, and inevitable poignancy, they find mutual feelings, even they are so different.
They find things in each other that comfort both of them -a comforting fact that they are not alone.
And it gives me hope. A hope about you will find that comfort in someone. Someone that might be totally different from you. You may think that he comes from outer space, someone that you might never get close to, but then you know they come to save you.
And it makes you full of hope -that you are not alone. Because they will be there to comfort you.
I’m in the edge of my sanity and ready to walk further across the border, to reach my insanity, when I write this small letter to you.
I was in Aksara before when I look at a book that reminds me of us. I haven’t read the book until the last page but the title has said it all: “This Is How You Lose Her”. It was written by Junot Diaz, a Dominican author that mostly known with his “The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao”.
Just by reading the word “lose”, it makes me feel this big sensation of discomfort. The sensation that I try to guess the right name until right now.
Maybe we could call it a disturbing nostalgia.
A disturbing nostalgia about losing and not coming back.
A disturbing nostalgia about how we met and how we left.
I have let go a lot of people from my life.
But I know nothing about why I can’t never really get over with the fact that you choose to leave.
I know nothing about why you are one of them.